Thursday, 26 July 2012

Awkward teamings...

Greetings Terrans,
Anyone remember The Champions?
No loss of kudos if you dont. They were a rather short lived Marvel team from the70s.
I mean The Defenders roster at any given time was usually a strange collection of loners and outcasts...

But The Champions? Who on Earth put these mixture of motely knobbers together?

Two X-Men rejects, a Russian defector, a stunt rider turned Spirit of Vengeance and a Greek Demi-god.
Aaah, I dont mean to be too harsh. Reality is, I own every Champions comic as I adore anything with my main man Herc in. They are fun, but lack of interest due to a run of B-list villains and awkward scripting led to its early demise. It may be worth noting that no member of the Champions (except Ghost Rider) had ever had his or her own, solo comic up to this point. In 1973 Ghost Rider got his own title,

but Black Widow hadn't been seen since Daredevil 124 and neither Iceman or Angel had been seen since X-Men 94. It wouldnt be a mega 33 years later that Hercules got his own regular title with the Incredible Hercules in 2008. Although he had, had one or two 4 issue limited series, and countless appearances in Thor and Avengers comics.
Their foes included:
Swarm - A Nazi bee-keeper whose creations had turned on him.
Pluto (that Herc's uncle, God of the Underworld, not the Disney dog)
The Porn Quartet consisting of STD Man, The Cock Ring, Herpes Simplex and Fanny Crab.
Ok... I made that last one up.
But here's a special treat.... talking of cock rings...

Just less than one half of The Champions: Me as Hercules and the lovely Kate as Black Widow. Excelsior!

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

How tall is Absorbing Man and where are the Houses of Parliament?

Greetings Earthicans,
Im here again to share some more delicious comic cover imagery from yester-year to astound and baffle your heightened, but barely adequate nerd-senses.
Comic covers are a work of art. They are a piece of social history. Some are so iconic that they echo down through the ages and become synonymous with the hero they represent, standing alone as a testemant to a classic moment in comic history.
Of course, in the 70s & 80s a comic cover often had little to do with what went on inside the comic. Spidey plummeting into a vat of toxic waste on the cover, might mean that Peter Parker chafes his hands on some rather rough paper toweling during the story and Hulk being bombarded with nuclear warheads on the cover, might mean he strokes a cow in a field.
So whats this about? Maybe they get hit by a giganto-ray during the comic?.... Nah... read it... doesnt happen. They fight, they smash, they fall off...

Oooo 'ang on a minute... I can remember Absorbing Man being 100ft high and fighting Thor... Nuff said.

And here is Mr. Nasty-and-balds first appearance waaay back in Journey into Mystery 114 (March 1965)

Aaaah, 'The Stronger I am, the Sooner I die!' what a tag-line. They just dont write them like that anymore.

Anyways, Spider-Man #95 (1971), check out the cover. LOVE IT!

Watch our Bobbies go! Leaping into action without a care for their own safety and with barely more than a wobble of the tit-like appendage on the top of their heads. Look at that one in the background. He's better than Spider-Man! Im glad the rest of the world see our police force as psuedo-superhuman tit wearers. It comforts me.
And that poor thug at the front is getting his ass handed to him Rodney King style, by our be-truncheoned constabulary, while Spider-Man is dodging bullets a-plenty as the gun-toting, goons hang from the windows of Tower Bridge and ride atop the double decker tour bus, whilst making tea for their Auntie.
Tour Guide:'Please ignore the terrorist on the roof of the bus firing a semi-automatic weapon at a costumed vigilante.On your left you will see the famous St. Catherines dock, and the Inn where Charles Dickens himself penned some of his classic, Victorian literature. On your right you can see Spider-Man and some policeman kicking the shit out of some man with a moustache.... Oh and theres Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament again....Didnt we pass the Houses of Parliament on Westminster Bridge?'
Since when were the Houses of Parliament next to Tower Bridge? Ok, American comic book artists, how would you like it if I drew Disneyland next to Disneyworld...? Eh? Eh?

Friday, 20 July 2012


Greeting Earthlings.
Over my next few blogs I'll be hoping to share some classic moments from comic book history with you. First appearances, my favourite comic covers, and an in-depth look into some of comics most loved super-heroes as well as some of its more embarassing B-listers.
My comic sack is always full, and I am always eager to disemmenate its contents onto a willing audience.
Feast your eyes on two comic covers of yester-year (silver & bronze age) that I found on a rummage through said sack.
Now Ill be honest, and Kryptonian Warrior may kick my ass, but I am not one of Superman's biggest fans. Sure, I reserve an amount of pomp reverance for the icon, the hero, the legend that is he, but my vast collection sadly lacks any volume of Superman comics (I only have a measly 114 Superman comics in assorted titles).
Im even less of a fan of his long time pal Jimmy Olsen. But what can I say? This comic cover had it all for me. Batman being pressed slammed and Superman taking a nice, solid, side kick to his abdomen? OOOF! And not by an irrate Solomon Grundy, or indeed Lex Luthor in Kryptonite armour.... But by none other than Jimmy himself! What a dude.

I mean just look at Jimmy. He looks like he's gonna get all Bane on Batman's ass, and I've seen Superman take direct hits from artillery and still remain standing, but Jimmy's kick even has Superman going for a burton. I bet your just dying to know what goes on inside the comic? Has Jimmy gone mad? Is Jimmy actually saving Batman after a fall from a high building, whilst simultaneously swatting a fly on Supermans abdomen? Well tough titty. You'll never find out. It's mine, and I open my comics for NO-ONE! (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen No.92 1966)

My next cover has something you probably thought you'd never see. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and over 6ft tall. Hmmm.... Yes, he does sound rather arian doesnt he? But who would have ever thought that Thor the mighty God of Thunder would be taking orders from Hitler himself? Yes, rub your eyes in disbelief. That is Adolf Hitler on the cover and that is Thor being his bitch.
Who'd have thunk it eh? But it happened kids, it happened... Ein, Zwei, Drei...
(Invaders No.32 1978)