Wednesday 1 December 2010

Sex sells and excels

Oookay, the graph on the statistics panel of my blog is starting to look like the ECG of an Emergency Room patient whose fading fast.
What better way to administer cardio-pulmonary ressusitation than to simply show you pictures of Sexy Women.
10ccs of HOT TOTTY stat!
So in order to revitalise the blog, here starts my Top 10 Hot, Retro, Nerd Babes countdown.
Yes! Tune in this week and next as we countdown to who was our first, four-tissue fantasy, which beautiful woman was the first to accompany us into a locked toilet (albeit in the form of a two dimensional image) and which nerdy babe-licious icon could stir us into hermetic bouts of self-abuse.
So prepare yourself for some cracking in-jokes and a delicious serving of sumptuous woman-flesh as we begin: Big D's Top 10 Hot, Retro, Nerd Babes.
The original, pre-historic, pin-up girl is of course none other than Raquel Welch and she is a well, worthy bit of fluff to start our cavalcade.
Running, hiding and panting heavily as huge lizards thrashed about, she is Loana ‘The fair one’ in the film 1 million years BC. (1966)
The film is largely ahistorical, but who cares when it has a young Raquel Welch doing athletic things in a skimpy animal skin bikini. There is no other way to describe her, than as being utterly breath-taking.
She is a member of the ‘shell’ tribe, a slightly more civilised tribe than their neighbours, the 'rock' tribe. If you haven’t seen it, watch it. She’s not the only bird running around showing how fun it was to titillate cave men.
She shows the outcast Tumak the joys of painting, music, rudimentary language and the missionary position, as his backwards tribe have never evolved past doggy style.


She is also Cora, in a delightful, white cat-suit, in nerd classic The Fantastic Voyage. (1966)
A team of scientists and square jawed closet homos are miniaturised and injected into a human, in order to cure his… gall stones? Or something…
Although enjoying her immensely as a child, Ill tell you the trouble I have with Raquel now. She is almost like a divine icon. An untouchable being who has transcended the sexual to become a numinous entity of lust and ladyshaved smoothness.
As a result, I fear I would be struck down if I ever had rude thoughts about her.
So she effortlessly slides in at No.10 in my countdown.
Please watch the clip... but try not to have naughty thoughts...

Tune in to my next blog for No.9 in the Hot, Retro, Nerd, Babes Countdown.
Big D out.

2 comments:

  1. Posted two so far!! Zilch!! I'm gonna write them in wordgazm so if they don't show I can blitz the selection process. I should remark I have had a cameo appearence in a previous blog on this< in my underpants dancing to Beatles music. I'LL BE BACK!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. As a result, I fear I would be struck down if I ever had rude thoughts about her.

    Naw, TRUST me, ya WON'T! I'm an old "hand" at the practice and I'm still here! :-D

    ReplyDelete