Saturday, 11 August 2012

Spam-heads & Drunken farts.

Greetings Poozers,
Big D bounds once more unto the breach to give you more classic covers.
How about this for starters:

Luthor's tits! What are those people looking at? Forget that he can use his super-speed to phase through solid matter, travel back in time and break the light barrier... I mean those bystanders see that everyday. But to see the Flash with a head that rivals Gorilla Grodd's swollen helmet... I mean, I see people in red spandex with super-powers with physical deformities everyday... and I wouldnt dream of staring. Just plain rude. If I was Flash I'd punch them all to death. That'll learn 'em!
Anyone remember that fad in the 80s when being a kid meant running around and slapping unsuspecting victims on the forehead and shouting 'SPAM'.... Aaaah, happier times. Flash... you dirty Spam Head!

And for the next dose of comic-cover-goodness, here's one of my favourite Iron Man covers:

Now its great for a number of reasons. Its great because it captures Tony Stark's realisation that his drinking and lifestyle have spiralled out of control to the point where his alcoholism is ruining his life as both an industrialist and superhero. Okay thats a given. But its the expression. This expression is not brought about by this terrible revelation as he looks at his dishevelled and broken self in the mirror. No, no... Tony is only human. He's been boozing all night, he's had a kebab from the local take-away and then he's sat down to take stock of himself before having a good old drunk fuelled fart.... and the poor fucka has followed through! Thats the truth of it folks. If your a true believer, you'll believe that and you'll love me for telling you. SHAZAM!
The imprudent floating of drunken air biscuits is ill advised.