Comic-cover-tastic!

Greeting Earthlings.
Over my next few blogs I'll be hoping to share some classic moments from comic book history with you. First appearances, my favourite comic covers, and an in-depth look into some of comics most loved super-heroes as well as some of its more embarassing B-listers.
My comic sack is always full, and I am always eager to disemmenate its contents onto a willing audience.
Feast your eyes on two comic covers of yester-year (silver & bronze age) that I found on a rummage through said sack.
Now Ill be honest, and Kryptonian Warrior may kick my ass, but I am not one of Superman's biggest fans. Sure, I reserve an amount of pomp reverance for the icon, the hero, the legend that is he, but my vast collection sadly lacks any volume of Superman comics (I only have a measly 114 Superman comics in assorted titles).
Im even less of a fan of his long time pal Jimmy Olsen. But what can I say? This comic cover had it all for me. Batman being pressed slammed and Superman taking a nice, solid, side kick to his abdomen? OOOF! And not by an irrate Solomon Grundy, or indeed Lex Luthor in Kryptonite armour.... But by none other than Jimmy himself! What a dude.

I mean just look at Jimmy. He looks like he's gonna get all Bane on Batman's ass, and I've seen Superman take direct hits from artillery and still remain standing, but Jimmy's kick even has Superman going for a burton. I bet your just dying to know what goes on inside the comic? Has Jimmy gone mad? Is Jimmy actually saving Batman after a fall from a high building, whilst simultaneously swatting a fly on Supermans abdomen? Well tough titty. You'll never find out. It's mine, and I open my comics for NO-ONE! (Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen No.92 1966)

My next cover has something you probably thought you'd never see. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and over 6ft tall. Hmmm.... Yes, he does sound rather arian doesnt he? But who would have ever thought that Thor the mighty God of Thunder would be taking orders from Hitler himself? Yes, rub your eyes in disbelief. That is Adolf Hitler on the cover and that is Thor being his bitch.

Who'd have thunk it eh? But it happened kids, it happened... Ein, Zwei, Drei...
(Invaders No.32 1978)

Animalympics!

Greetings Earth Dwellers, and once more unto the breach as we arrive at the penultimate entry in my Top 5 Alternative Animated Features countdown.
The most memorable cartoon experiences come of course from our childhood, when wonderment and suspension of disbelief allow us to experience the symphony of colour, movement and sound to its fullest extent. But not all of these experiences survive a revisit.
Although nostalgia is a powerful thing, the true test is watching it again and whether as an adult you are able to embrace it as you did when you were a child. The myriad levels and depth of some cartoons are such that they can always be enjoyed with any amount of watching.
Animalympics was one such animated feature.

At its most basic, its about animals (albeit anthropomorphic ones) competing in the Olympic games. Fantastic idea to begin with, as we've all asked the questions: Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a buffalo? Who would win in a race between a Crocodile and a leopard? etc. All these questions and more are answered in this film. But also the voice characterisations, the subtle humour and tongue-in-cheek puns, the story of adversity, triumph, love, and joy, combine to make an animated spectacle that I have always been able to watch and enjoy since I first saw it in 1985. The cherry on the top is the masterful soundtrack that was composed and performed by Graham Gouldman (10cc Bassist) and compliments the cartoon to sublime effect.


With the Olympics here upon us, in our very capital, Animalympics is perhaps more topical than ever.
Enjoy another muscial clip from the film and Ill see you at the next blog.
Big D out.

Fire & Ice and all things nice.

A stirring score. Dark, stylised animation. Sword meets sorcery. It could only be Ralph Bakshi, and it could only be Fire & Ice.

Best known for his works: Lord of the Rings, Wizards, and Fritz the Cat, Ralph Bakshi teamed up with fantasy artist Frank Frazetta for the (1983) animated feature Fire & Ice.
Although given limited release and financially unsucessful, the film is no less enjoyable than any of the classic fantasy romps that were around at the time. Beastmaster, Conan et al.
In my opinion Bakshi's dark, brooding style coupled with the realisation of Frazetta's artwork make for a heady combination that is difficult to forget.
Of course the reason it is at my No.1 of alternative animated features is, as always, because of the lowest common denominator. A scantily clad woman. Princess Teegra.

She was the first, and probably only, cartoon character I lusted after with all the pant arousing passion that any young man could muster. Barefooted and wearing a microkini that remarkably defied all the laws of physics, she bounced around the screen with the wanton abandon of an over inflated novelty armchair.
Now I realise that Frank Frazetta's fantasy women are exactly that. Fantasy. Although porn star Daphne Rosen does bear some resemblence.

But I was young and impressionable... and, as most nerdy teenagers are, pathetic and desperately horny.
But all hornyness aside its an animated classic and a definate must for all fantasy fans.
Heres the theatrical trailer for the movie. Hopefully it'll whet your appetite and you'll go and watch it on Youtube.

If you can, watch the movie. NOW! There are some truly great moments. Pay special attention to the finale. Its essentially the Battle of Yavin, Death Star run, but through the ice trenches of Necron's stronghold, and instead of X-wings its Dragon Hawks. Fantasy-tastic!
There it is. The final installment in my Top 5 Alternative Animated Features.
Keep tuning in kids, and Ill see you at the next blog.
Big D out.

Music to my ears, and more than meets the eye.

This cartoon has got it all. Life, death, high drama, and robots that turn into dinosaurs.
As well as Eric Idle, Orson Wells, and Mr. Spock. Ooh I nearly said Dr. Spock there, and you would have had to kill me.
The music for the film was nothing short of rocktastic! and had me punching the air (as well as my friend sat next to me) at every power chord and every exhilirating 80s Def Zeppelinny Halenesque riff that was tortured from the guitar.
I readily admit that NASA had to be contacted in order to calculate how many times I actually watched this movie/cartoon. Its off the fucking charts!


Transformers the Movie (1986) is where it was at, and in my nostalgia filled mind where it still is. Hollywood can keep their crappy Transformer films (you know the ones Im talking about) and kiss my shiny metal ass! Proving that simplicity is the key to adventure. It wasnt overburdened with bollocksy character developement or building to an ultimately dissapointing climax through tedious narrative. It started... there was a fight... then another fight... then some sentimentality... then another fight... then a break... then another fight... then a huge fight... and then it finished. PERFECT!
This has to be my Number 3 favourite alternative animated feature.
Ba weep granna weep ninny baap!

Where do we all live?

Were do we we all live?
Well if you were smoking Morrocan Woodbines and listening to the Beatles in the 60s the answer would be: A Yellow Submarine.

The song released in 1966 would be the inspiration for an animated film of the same name 2 years later. I first saw it when I was 6 years old. I didnt have much in the way of musical taste, but was privvy to dad's occaisonal drunken frolic to the music of the Beatles.
I know its quite fashionable and some people think its a bold statement of their individuality to say that they do not like the music of the Beatles. I say these people are stunted, pretend, little half creatures, who will ultimately lead very sad lives. Its not because in all sincerity they dislike the Beatles, but usually because they think it gives them such an air of debonair chic to be contrary to such a monumentally, important episode in the history of music. In short, they are arse-heads.
Yellow Submarine gave me, a very young boy at the time, a context for the Beatle's music and so I instantly fell in love with the film. It was pretty much like an hour and a half music video of the Beatles.
The story, characters, music and highly stylised visuals and animation conspire together to make what I consider a fantastic animated experience.
Many years later I met one of the animators of the film, Geoff Loynes, who now, of all things makes his living as Santa Claus. An old-school animator, he is an absolute joy to converse with and still remembers the film fondly.
Although the opening is somewhat grey and desolate it had me hooked from the chorus: Aaaaaaah look at all the lonely people....

So No.4 in my Top 5 Alternative Animated Features is: Yellow Submarine, and to see you out here is one of my favourites from the film.

See you next blog for No.3.
Big D out.

Watership Down but not out.

Greetings Earthlings. Lets talk cartoons shall we?
A colourful interplay of sights and sounds; larger than life, but totally accesible to the youngest of viewers.
Cartoons are a veritable Aladdin's cave of sacred memories for us all.

Luminaries such as, Disney, Hanna & Barbera, and the Warner Bros. stable each deserve a blog of their own, as perhaps does every anime studio. Maybe I'll visit these in later blogs, but rather than me bang on about their merits here, let me introduce you to my Top 5 Alternative Animated Features.
These are the ones I had on VHS and watched endlessly, or rented at the weekend from the local Video rental store (aaaah the 80s) to watch ad infinitum over the weekend, only to have my brother do exactly the same when he came of age. They are therefore indelibly etched on my psyche and their sentiments always in my heart.
Saying that I do remember purposely taping over one of my brother favourites: Flash Gordon (The Greatest Adventure of all). He used to watch the shitting thing 4 times a day.

Now awash with nostalgia after watching that, Ill probably go and watch the other 9 parts. It reminded me of happier times when my brother was a cute kid with missing front teeth and a lisp, when WWF moves were so much easier to do on him, and his will was that much more pliable. Rather than the billigerant, whiskey swigging, misanthrope he has become.

While Im here I'll use this blog a forum to express my regret at taping over my brothers treasured memory:
Im sorry for taping over your cartoon Adam, which you then spent the rest of your life searching for.
Here is a missing piece of your lost childhood. Please watch the rest of it on Youtube... AND STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW I TAPED OVER IT WHEN YOU WERE 8 YEARS OLD!
Aaaaand Im back in the room.
So my No.5 Alternate animated feature is:


With its dark and menacing undertones and its unabashed violence and horror (for a cartoon), many have argued that Watership Down is not for children. I say because of this, it is one of the most important childrens cartoons ever. An emotional tale of sentimentality, comedy, comeraderie, mortality and triumph over adversity, It ticks all the boxes. It certainly does not shy away from the sheer brutality of nature, and at times the horror is very palpable... but it is a cartoon. No one ever got upset because Jerry cut Tom's head off.
You have the accessability of a cartoon with some very grisly and indeed real, if unfortunate, aspects of life wrapped in superb story telling.
If a child has ever been traumatised by Watership Down then there was something wrong with the kid, not the film.
Cementing Watership Down's reputation as a life affirming experience, Nigel Hawthorne, John Hurt, Richard Briers and Zero Mostel use their vocal talents to sublime effect.

So, Watership Down, No.5 in my Alternative Animated Features list. Please tune into my next blog when we'll whip off the veil to reveal what is at No.4
Big D out.

Im Bane and Im WINNING!

The place: Design & Business Centre, Islington, London
The Event: Kapow! Comic Convention

I stalked the comic lined aisles of  Kapow! like a predator looking for my next victim.

'Hey... Bane... Can we get a pic with you?'
CRACK!
I must have broken the back of nearly a hundred people over the weekend. Happy smiling faces as they dangled over my knee like broken ragdolls.

No one was safe. Women, children, the socially inept...

By the second day I had already cemented my reputation and it preceded me.
'Hey... Bane... Can you break my back?'

Aaah, it was veritable music to my ears, and happily I broke backs for a second day.
I honestly dont think there was much of the weekend that I didnt come out of character.The mask hardly came off. I went to the pub and ordered drinks as Bane.

I went to the corner shop as Bane. And to my wifes chagrin I refused to take it off at bedtime.
There was a moment between me and the Landlady at O'Neils on Saturday evening, when she asked me to remove my mask.... I simply gave her the steely Bane stare and said:
'Do you know who I am woman?'
'Ill take it off for you...', she retorted.
And preceded to peel my mask off and dangle it infront of me. It could have been a Mary Jane and Spidey moment, and I must admit I did feel a touch of romance wash over me... But alas. I am Bane, and there is no room in my life for such things. Oh yeah, and my wife probably wouldnt have appreciated it.
The culmination of the weekend for me, was winning the cosplay parade. My stage performance left me feeling giddy and crapulent, and I lumbered from the stage doe eyed, grinningly inanely and cooing gently to myself.... under my Bane mask.
When I went up with the five finalists and was announced as the winner, Im sure I left my body for a second, and hovered... looking down at an achievement that a month ago was the stuff of fantasy and reserved for my daydreams.
I had gone to a Comic Convention.... dressed as Bane.... And I had won the coplay parade...

If I was younger I probably would've jizzed my pants. Being older and wiser I thought it would be better if I didnt, and I was right. A limited edition Tron box set XBox360 thingy was mine and the promise of VIP tickets to next years event. But more than anything the sheer joy of attending the weekend and meeting the people I did was kudos enough.
I knew a fair few people there. Dom, John and Dexter were legends. Claude was his usual inimitable self. Staff from Orbital and GOSH looked rosey cheeked and plump of fetlock. But I finally got to meet the people that had made everthing possible. HA:UK, thats Heroes Alliance UK for those of you not up on your acronyms. They are a group of super-powered humans, affiliated the Make A Wish foundation and do sterling work for charity. I love each one of them, and have decided to have their babies.

My special thanks goes out to Fran, Joe, Paul, Callum, Nick, Holly, Emmy, Ryan, Kate, Clare, Anais, Claire, David, Lee, Gareth, Max, Gemma, Drunkley(?), Stewart, Celia, Matt, Chelsea.... I really hope I havent missed anyone...
Please share my glory by watching the 2 videos of the cosplay parade:


Here are three of my favourite photos. One of me and a kid dressed as Batman, one of me showing that Bane does have a soft spot for Batman, and one done for me by my friend Chris.

Please continue to tune into my blog as normal service has now been resumed.
Big D out.